Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
