Three words: puerto rican gang bang
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
