guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I love having hate sex.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
