Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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