Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
