big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
