Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just google imaged poop.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
