He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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