discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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