lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
