I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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