did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
