the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
