I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
