2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
