Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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