I want to walk on stilts...naked
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
