the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
