I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
it's like iHOP with fire
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
