Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
