But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
