What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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