Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
