I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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