...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So much rum. So many feels.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
