I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm really into asian looking animals
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
