You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
My feet surprised me
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
