I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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