And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
