So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
