are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
