I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
