If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
