i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
