Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
