is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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