i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
