Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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