Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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