im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
