I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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