we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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