$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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