We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
