i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
