My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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