If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I am one with the molecules
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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