Dude my mom stole all your condoms
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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