When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
