He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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